In his well-known satirical and humorous style of writing, the eminent and beloved Marathi writer and humorist narrates an entertaining and witty account of the protagonist Pant, a commoner who makes a resolution to lose weight, but his efforts often fail, leading to many hilarious situations. Here’s how:

The news of my personal fasting became public, and I was bombarded with innumerable ideas, instructions, and positive and negative remarks about diet and weight loss. But I was determined to lose weight, so I turned a deaf ear to all those comments. I had already lost sleep over the weight card that displayed my weight as 181 pounds, even though my wife refused to believe it and reminded me how I still snore every night.

I started reading books on food and nutrition, and my level of interest in terms like protein-rich food, fatty food, etc. suddenly rose; I could no longer view the food on my plate as ‘food’ but mere calories.

However, the most amusing thing was that all my friends and neighbours were overly enthusiastic about my resolution. Everyone came up with a diet plan for me with recommendations of what I should do and eat and what I should completely ban. The list had everything, from ‘NO potato or rice’ to ‘NO afternoon nap’ or playing cards.

The first day of my diet was successful, but on the second day at work, the news of my colleague Anna’s promotion called for a party. How could I not have celebrated my friend’s achievement? So I had no choice but to eat all the sweets and savoury foods. In the end, when I revealed my diet plan, everyone made fun of me. After some brainstorming, it was unanimously decided that I should go for a run in the morning and jump rope in the evening, and thus, I resumed eating my seventh plate of pakoda.

On the home front, my better half was highly excited about my whole weight-loss programme. Every day she invented a new ‘diet’ recipe for me. Spherical-shaped vegetables like cabbage and cauliflower were banned from the kitchen, and only lean-looking veggies like ladies’ fingers and drumsticks were allowed. Even the sugar disappeared from my daily cups of tea. Although my diet was guarded from all sides, the laddus she made for the kids did sneak into my tummy.

The idea of skipping rope lasted only for a day because the first time I swung the rope, it brought down with it the oil and medicine bottles from the dressing table. The second time, my rope entrapped Acharya Baba Barve, my neighbour who was already dissatisfied with me because ‘fasting’ was his forte.

Finally, I had had enough! I was determined to adhere strictly to my plan until I lost weight. I started daydreaming of a leaner me. I started enjoying sugarless tea and lemon juice. I jumped rope at least ten times without any trouble. I ran back home from the office. I ate only nutritious and healthy meals. This continued for almost ten to twelve days. I curbed the temptation of checking my weight on the scale for a month.

There were a few unavoidable occasions where I had to sacrifice my diet plan and eat sweetened rice, prawn rice, and Nagpuri wada bhat, but that was all. I could see my neighbours respecting me more and acknowledging the notable change in my appearance.

At the end of an arduous month, after all the determination and incredible self-control, the month-long penance of fasting, the healthy diet, and the jump rope, I was more than sure that I had lost at least twenty to twenty-five pounds. With full confidence, I stood up on the weighing scale, only to see the weight card showing a hundred and ninety-two pounds and a daily horoscope that read, ‘You are very sensible and solemn by nature!’ I was flabbergasted.

Since then, I have stopped thinking about my weight and horoscope, and I would not dare to diet even in my dreams in this life. After all, your weight takes you to a different scale altogether, you see!